Not All Dogs Want Hugs: The Truth About Canine Affection

Sabrina Seva
Jul 22
3 min read

Fluffy gray and black dog with a happy expression lies on a speckled floor. Background includes part of a metal crate. — A happy, fluffy dog with a curly coat lies comfortably on the floor, looking up with a cheerful expression.

Humans often assume all dogs love and desire affection! After all, what’s more comforting for us than snuggling up with a warm, furry best friend?

But here’s the real truth: not every dog enjoys being hugged, kissed, or even touched. Just like people, dogs have unique personalities, preferences and boundaries, and ignoring those boundaries can create unwanted stress, fear, or even aggression.

Keep reading to learn why some dogs crave cuddles while others could do without them!

Not All Dogs Want to Be Touched

Dogs communicate differently from humans. While we use hugging and kissing to show love, some dogs may interpret these gestures as invasive or threatening. According to the American Kennel Club (AKC), some dogs may feel trapped or anxious when hugged, especially if they weren’t properly socialized or even had negative experiences with humans in the past. (Source: AKC: Do Dogs Like Hugs?)

Veterinary behaviorist Dr. Karen Overall explains that “affection should always be a two-way street.” Forcing physical affection on a dog that doesn't want it can lead to stress signals such as lip licking, yawning, turning away, or growling, classic signs that a dog is uncomfortable. (Source: PetMD: How to Read a Dog’s Body Language)

Fluffy dog licking its nose, lying on a brown couch with a bright yellow tennis ball. Cozy and playful mood. — *Small Dog Licking Lips While Staring at Someone*

Please Don’t Pet Me: How to Know

Understanding a dog’s body language is invaluable in accurately assessing their emotional state and can help you understand what your dog is trying to tell you. The two illustrations below show the typical canine body language when a dog is stressed, nervous, or fearful. If your dog is displaying these postures and/or cues, do not force affection on them. In addition, if the dog turns or leans their head or body away from you, or shows the whites of their eyes (“whale eyes”), they are subtly indicating they are uncomfortable or stressed.

Illustration showing a fearful dog with ears and tail tucked, wide eyes, and closed mouth. Text: Fearful Dog Body Language. — *Common Dog Postures and Cues of a Stressed, Nervous or Fearful Dog (Source:* *PetMD.com*)

Illustration of a dog showing stress signs: avoiding eye contact, crouching, lip-licking, tail held low. Text reads "Stressed or Nervous Dog Body Language." — *Common Dog Postures and Cues of a Stressed, Nervous or Fearful Dog (Source:* *PetMD.co*m

Real-Life Examples of Dogs Saying “No Thank You”

Case 1: “Please Don’t Pet Me” Service Dog

A viral story from 2022 featured a service dog named Max who wore a vest that read: “Do Not Pet, I'm Working.” Despite his training, people insisted on hugging or petting him without permission, which led to anxiety and distraction in his work. His handler reported that Max preferred space and attention on his terms.

Case 2: The Rescue Pup with Boundaries

A woman adopted a 3-year-old rescue dog named Ellie, who had been neglected in her previous home. While Ellie was loyal and sweet, she consistently avoided close physical contact. Her new owner worked with a certified trainer to create a respectful environment where Ellie could choose when and how she interacted with her new owner.

Dog Breeds That Love to Cuddle

While individual dogs vary in personality and preferences, some K9 breeds are known for their affectionate, snuggle-loving nature and often seek out physical closeness and thrive on touch.

Labrador Retriever
Golden Retriever
Cavalier King Charles Spaniel
Bichon Frise
Pug
Newfoundland
Boxer
Greyhound

Dog Breeds That Tend to Be More Aloof

The breeds below are usually more independent and may not enjoy constant affection or cuddling.

Chow Chow
Afghan Hound
Basenji
Shar-Pei
Alaskan Malamute
Shiba Inu
Scottish Terrier

Alert dog with black, white, and tan coat sits against a gray brick wall, wearing a colorful collar. The setting is calm and urban. — *The Basenji Can Be More Aloof and Not Enjoy Constant Affection*

Respect and Consent Matter

Understanding that not all dogs want affection is a big step toward building stronger and safer relationships with our dogs and other pets. Just like humans, dogs deserve the right to say “no.”

Always:

Watch their body language.
Allow them to approach you.
Reward them when they show interest.
And NEVER force attention or affection!

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Bottom line: Respect Your Dog’s Agency

Cuddling should always be on your dog’s terms. While certain breeds may be more inclined to seek out your affection, it’s important to take into consideration the dog’s:

Past experiences.
Training and socialization.
Personality; and
Preferences when it comes to affection.

Respecting your dog’s preferences shows true love that listens, adapts, and gives space when and where it is needed. In other words, respect your dog’s “agency” (the degree of control or choice) to ensure their ultimate happiness and confidence throughout their life. (Source: TheISCP.com)